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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

By Ramani Durvasula

Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. Post Hill Press, 2015.

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18 mins read

15 Key insights

A brief summary of Should I Stay or Should I Go?

A matter-of-fact approach to identifying and dealing with the narcissist in your life, with tools to help you survive the relationship, stay true to yourself, and assess whether leaving is the best option.

Key insights in Should I Stay or Should I Go?

1
What do you get from this book? How to deal with the narcissist in your life
2
Pathological narcissists don’t care about anyone except themselves, while healthy narcissists take others into account
3
Narcissism develops in childhood and its prominence is increasing thanks to modern society
4
The more a person displays objectionable traits that hurt others, the more likely they are to be a narcissist
5
Identifying the type of narcissist you’re involved with will help you know what to expect in your relationship
6
It’s common for egoists to attract people with their charm and success
7
Narcissists often use a false image of themselves to draw people in
8
When stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, you may start feeling bad about yourself and desperately try to please them
9
Staying true to yourself means finding ways to deal with the problems you’re facing instead of avoiding them
10
The “rescue fantasy” is a common but disturbing trope that keeps you locked in a toxic relationship
11
Staying with your partner requires you to set realistic goals, create a strong support group, and focus on mundane conversation
12
Leaving won’t be easy, but it may be necessary, and ultimately will reward you with a fresh start in life
13
Summary of the key insights
14
Selected critiques in brief
15
Final word

Who should read Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Psychology students • couples and individuals • adults in romantic relationships • young adults living in troubled households • anyone struggling to deal with a perceived narcissist

About the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and media personality. She received her Master of Psychology and Doctor of Philosophy from the University of California, Los Angeles, where she also served as a psychology professor. Durvasula was co-host of the popular television show My Shopping Addiction, and has an ongoing advice column in Muses and Visionaries magazine.

author avatar

Ramani Durvasula

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