Should I Stay or Should I Go?
By Ramani Durvasula
Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. Post Hill Press, 2015.
Summary of Should I Stay or Should I Go? book by Ramani Durvasula
A matter-of-fact approach to identifying and dealing with the narcissist in your life, with tools to help you survive the relationship, stay true to yourself, and assess whether leaving is the best option.
Chapters in Should I Stay or Should I Go? book summary
What do you get from this book? How to deal with the narcissist in your life
Pathological narcissists don’t care about anyone except themselves, while healthy narcissists take others into account
Narcissism develops in childhood and its prominence is increasing thanks to modern society
The more a person displays objectionable traits that hurt others, the more likely they are to be a narcissist
Identifying the type of narcissist you’re involved with will help you know what to expect in your relationship
It’s common for egoists to attract people with their charm and success
Narcissists often use a false image of themselves to draw people in
When stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, you may start feeling bad about yourself and desperately try to please them
Staying true to yourself means finding ways to deal with the problems you’re facing instead of avoiding them
The “rescue fantasy” is a common but disturbing trope that keeps you locked in a toxic relationship
Staying with your partner requires you to set realistic goals, create a strong support group, and focus on mundane conversation
Leaving won’t be easy, but it may be necessary, and ultimately will reward you with a fresh start in life
Summary of the key insights
Selected critiques in brief
Final word
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? — Book Summary Snapshot
Who should read Should I Stay or Should I Go? book
- Psychology students
- couples and individuals
- adults in romantic relationships
- young adults living in troubled households
- anyone struggling to deal with a perceived narcissist
About the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Ramani Durvasula
Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and media personality. She received her Master of Psychology and Doctor of Philosophy from the University of California, Los Angeles, where she also served as a psychology professor. Durvasula was co-host of the popular television show My Shopping Addiction, and has an ongoing advice column in Muses and Visionaries magazine.
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