Getting Past Your Breakup
By Susan J. Elliott
How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You. Da Capo Press, 2009.
Summary of Getting Past Your Breakup book by Susan J. Elliott
A practical plan for getting over heartache, moving forward in your life, and putting the past behind; includes strategies for recognizing troublesome patterns and learning how to avoid them.
Chapters in Getting Past Your Breakup book summary
What do you get from this book? Learn how to overcome breakups, build self-esteem, and find true love
Breakups happen for many reasons, but they all lead to grief that can only be overcome by facing it head-on
Going “no contact” is vital for healing after a breakup—that means not making excuses to see your ex
To heal from grief, you must move through the three phases: shock, relinquishment, and acceptance
Obsession leads to negative “self-talk,” but positive affirmations can help rebuild your self-esteem
Setting goals, taking time out for yourself, and seeking therapy are valuable steps in overcoming breakups
Children suffer the most from breakups, but setting boundaries and staying honest can help them through it
“Relationship inventories” and “life inventories” help you identify patterns and see things objectively
Setting boundaries ensures no one else’s life infringes on yours; when it does, follow through with “natural” or “logical” consequences
Post-breakup dating can elicit negative emotions, but learning to be okay alone will help you through them
Don’t use social media to spy on your ex, and acknowledge your “breakup anniversary” in order to move past it
Summary of the key insights
Selected critiques in brief
Final word
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Getting Past Your Breakup — Book Summary Snapshot
Who should read Getting Past Your Breakup book
- Newly divorced or separated couples
- therapists in training
- psychology students
- singles still searching for their special someone
- anyone who’s ever had a broken heart
About the author of Getting Past Your Breakup
Susan J. Elliott
Relationship expert Susan J. Elliott grew up in foster care, leading her into abusive relationships later in life. Overcoming her past, she now helps others overcome theirs through her lectures, workshops, and blog, Gettingpastyourbreakup.com. Her book by the same name was listed as the top 2009 breakup book by About.com. She also hosts the Mean Lady Talking podcast.
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