How to Think More About Sex
By Alain de Botton & The School
Picador, 2012.
Summary of How to Think More About Sex book by Alain de Botton & The School
A rigorous, thoroughly researched exploration of why the topic of sex is so taboo and what married couples—as well as the young and the single—can do to reset their attitudes toward sexual desire.
Chapters in How to Think More About Sex book summary
What do you get from this book? Adopt a philosophical approach to sex and explore desires in a healthy way
Traditional ideas about sex continue to stunt our capacity to experience profound physical pleasure
Sex is a fundamental human impulse that satisfies innate biological and emotional needs
Growing up and developing sexually can result in a sense of loneliness and physical isolation
Though intimacy helps us feel connected and accepted, we often have to risk rejection to get there
Our relationship to sex creates a window into our psychological histories and innermost desires
Men and women may not have as much say as they think they do when choosing a sexual partner
The sooner we accept that we are all fetishists, the sooner we can embrace “the good” in our sexual desires
Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean couples won’t have awkward bedroom encounters
Pornography doesn’t have to be a drain on society; rather, it could be more artistic and portray real beauty
There are many reasons for infidelity, but most can be traced back to the institution of marriage
Expressing sincere gratitude to a committed spouse is the first step towards achieving a more realistic long-term relationship
It’s important to make an effort to have more open and honest conversations about sex
If you stop viewing love as more virtuous than sex, you can find a partner with similar values and preferences
Summary of the key insights
Selected critiques in brief
Final word
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How to Think More About Sex — Book Summary Snapshot
Who should read How to Think More About Sex book
- Fans of Freud
- psychologists and psychiatrists
- couples counselors
- anyone uncomfortable with the topic of sex
- heavy porn users or would-be adulterers
About the author of How to Think More About Sex
Alain de Botton & The School
Swiss-born British philosopher Alain de Botton is the founder of The School of Life, an organization dedicated to helping people build resilience and make connections via everyday topics that few individuals actively think about, such as work and relationships. His essay-style pieces and books, which include How Proust Can Change Your Life, have been published in over thirty languages.
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